PSA: You may have noticed the title alteration. It came to my attention that Dear No One is the title of a Tori Kelly album. I’m not one for plagiarism so I had to switch it up a little. Enjoy the rest of the read!
Dear Anyone,
Hey. I’m back. I know I’ve been a little MIA. During the break I have been contemplating my life choices as well as writing a ton of blogs without ever actually posting them. Full transparency: life has been kicking my ass lately. Anxiety has been wild (therefore, the lack of content here) adult stuff like work has not been ideal. But, we’re here. We made it through some not so fun days for this exact moment. Today was an amazing day. Let me explain.
I woke up feeling extremely refreshed (which has not been the norm for a while..) but it was euphoric. I cleaned up from having friends over the night before, got a little laundry done, CLEANED MY ROOM. Which, I understand a 23-almost 24 year old women feeling good about cleaning her room could seem alarming, but it’s something I’m trying to be better about. So, I’m proud. I enjoyed a tasty breakfast, a good movie, and the great outdoors. Now, I don’t want it to seem like I’m boasting here, but my outfit today was also sensational.
So you can understand why I am just buzzing all over right now with positive energy. The change of pace has been extremely relieving and it feels long over-due. See, ever since I was small I always dreamed of being someone else. I’d look up to certain characters like Dylan from Charlie’s Angels, or Manny from Degrassi and wished I was them. Even strangers who would intrigue me that I’d spot in passing. I wondered what it would be like to be someone else-anyone else for so much of my life. It’s kind of sad to admit.. but today was the first day, that I can remember, where I was perfectly content that I’m me. Proud even. Is that bad? A little depressing for sure. Progress maybe?
The thing with my anxious brain is that it can be hard for me to enjoy today because I find myself being worried about tomorrow, or even yesterday. Which, I think can sometimes be the case for a lot of us. I don’t know how I’m going to feel tomorrow but it doesn’t really matter right now does it? What I’m trying to say is be in the moment if you can help it. I know we all get overwhelmed by personal life, professional life, and everything in between, but remember that there are days like today to look forward to. I think that’s one of the most beautiful, as well as, the most frustrating parts of this life. You never know what tomorrow is going to bring. Bleh, cliches. It’s terrifying but reassuring at the exact same time. It’s a fucking ride, loves. Buckle the hell up, I guess.
Anyways, that’s the update. Long story short today was one for the books and I’m grateful. Whether it’s bad, depressing, or progress right now it doesn’t really matter. I don’t have it all figured out this very second, right?
I’ve missed this. I’ll definitely be a little more active here. Or not. We’ll see.
Also, the one year anniversary of this blog is coming up! I was thinking of posting one of my short stories for some peer critiques if ya’ll are down. Let me know!
Yours,
Jordan.